Cartoon Saturday

I object!! Oh ... wait ... life has overruled me. 

An upside-down U.S. flag, a recognized symbol of distress adopted by Trump supporters contesting the Biden victory, flew over the home of Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito while the Supreme Court was considering a case relating to the 2020 election ... and Alito blamed it on his wife; a meeting of the House Oversight Committee, already a laughingstock over its fumblingly inept and evidence-free attempts to impeach President Biden, devolved into a noisy exchange of childish taunts after Georgia Representative Empty G suggested that Florida Representative Jasmine Crockett didn't understand the purpose of the hearing because "... your fake eyelashes are messing up what you’re reading;” President Biden and Der Furor have agreed to two pre-election debates, although Der Furor's quibbling over the rules began almost immediately; a controversial new portrait of King Charles III of Great Britain was unveiled this week; and in Tampa, Florida, an upscale restaurant was discovered decorating its very expensive plates with "mildly toxic" ferns harvested from a plot behind the restaurant often used by dog walkers to relieve their pets. 

This week, in "honor" of the armies of lawyers who daily torture justice until it meets the requirements of their wealthy clients, a collection of cartoons about the legal profession. 

There must be something in the laws of war that prohibits such barbarity ...

If Der Furor ever finally faces justice on all the felonies he's been charged with, we'll really have to scrape the bottom of the potential juror barrel ...

Truth!!

Why not? They get paid either way ...

It's pretty accurate ...

When you date lawyers ...

I'm not sure I'd have gone with this defense, as most lawyers don't tend to be good sports ...

He got the wrong lawyer to review his business plan ...

Behind the scenes in New York ...

I think he'll be pretty lonely if he gets in ...

Have a legally sound and fiscally sufficient weekend, and come back tomorrow for a Musical Sunday salute to the watchers no one's watching. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for May, 2024

We are just over halfway through the merry and, in NoVa at least, soggy month of May, and it's time to announce the second of our three Ass Clown Awards for the month. The current tidal wave of potential political, social, and quasi-religious potential awardees makes a selection difficult ... but not impossible, as one dishonoree has consistently stood out as being worthy of wearing the tinfoil and toilet paper crown.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, designation as

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for May, 2024

is bestowed upon

Judge Aileen Cannon

Judge Aileen Cannon was appointed to the federal bench by Der Furor as one of his lame-duck measures after losing the 2020 election. She was subsequently assigned by lottery to try the federal case against Der Furor for his deliberate retention and improper storage and use of sensitive, highly-classified government records, and has been deeply criticized by other judges and legal scholars for her extraordinarily lenient and favorable treatment of Der Furor and his attorneys, and her slow-walking of the case which virtually ensures that it will not actually go to trial until after the November election ... if ever.

The list of Judge Cannon's missteps in this critically important case is long and distressing - too long to summarize in this post. For a thorough and well-documented history of her botched handling of the case, I encourage you to read this detailed, but very readable summary by law professor, former federal prosecutor, and legal analyst and commentator Joyce Vance: Mar-a-No-Go. Ms Vance paints a damning picture of a judge who is both out of her depth and plainly anxious to protect the man who appointed her to the bench.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for May, 2024, is Florida Federal District Court Judge Aileen Cannon - a jurist who clearly proves that there are two standards of justice in the United States ... and that they favor the rich and powerful at the expense of the nation.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow when Cartoon Saturday helps us wash the taste of judicial misconduct out of our mouths.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

Dorothy Parker, a charter member of the famous Algonquin Round Table, was a marvelously witty author, poet, critic, and social commentator. In this poem, she reflects on the inner thoughts of a lady who is - outwardly, at least - the very image of propriety ...

Song of Perfect Propriety

by Dorothy Parker

Oh, I should like to ride the seas,

A roaring buccaneer;

A cutlass banging at my knees,

A dirk behind my ear.

And when my captives' chains would clank

I'd howl with glee and drink,

And then fling out the quivering plank

And watch the beggars sink.

I'd like to straddle gory decks, 

And dig in laden sands,

And know the feel of throbbing necks

Between my knotted hands.

Oh, I should like to strut and curse 

Among my blackguard crew....

But I am writing little verse,

As little ladies do.

Oh, I should like to dance and laugh

And pose and preen and sway,

And rip the hearts of men in half, 

And toss the bits away.

I'd like to view the reeling years

Through unastonished eyes, 

And dip my finger-tips in tears, 

And give my smiles for sighs.

I'd stroll beyond the ancient bounds,

And tap at fastened gates, 

And hear the prettiest of sound-

The clink of shattered fates.

My slaves I’d like to bind with thongs

That cut and burn and chill...

But I am writing little songs,

As little ladies will.

Aye, matey, you'd best treat that lady with care!

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Honor your mother. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

As my Dad would have said, if this week had been a fish, I'd have thrown it back. 

The House of Representatives easily rejected an attempt by extremist Republicans to oust Mike Johnson as Speaker of the House; Russian authorities in Vladivostok have arrested an American soldier* on charges of theft; presidential wannabe Robert F. Kennedy, Jr, told interviewers he is in good health despite suffering from a brain parasite more than a decade ago; the supreme leader of the Taliban confirmed that public stoning and flogging would remain as punishments for crimes**, especially those committed by women; and in Los Angeles, Hertz charged a customer $277 refueling charge for returning his rental car - a fully-electric Tesla Model 3 with no gas tank - without a full tank of gas, and refused to remove the charge, telling the customer that "your signed rental agreement [shows] that you are fully aware of the fuel option that was added on the contract."

My oldest granddaughter is getting married this summer, so I figured it was time to go to the files and pull out a collection of cartoons about weddings ... 

Nowadays, you've gotta have a lawyer for everything ...

This is not a good sign ...

Neither is this ...

Full disclosure, indeed ...

It seems this might have been worked out in advance ...

This one's personal ... when Agnes and I married in Germany, I was convinced that the combination of German and US marriage regulations would only be satisfied when the weight of the paperwork equalled the weight of the bride ...

It's how we do things nowadays, isn't it? ...

Hyphenation is soooo last year ...

You can get into serious accidents when you're overly distracted ...

I guess she moderated her standards ...

And that's it for this week's wedding-themed Cartoon Saturday. Did you enjoy it? Say, "I did."

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when the matchless Dorothy Parker visits for Poetry Sunday. See you then.

Bilbo

* Who was dumb enough to be in Russia at a time like this.

** Haibatullah Akhundzada, the Taliban's supreme leader, scoffed at foreign outrage, saying that "You may call it a violation of women's rights when we publicly stone or flog them for committing adultery because they conflict with your democratic principles... [But] I represent Allah, and you represent Satan." He was apparently talking about Der Furor.

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

First collection for the new month - get 'em while they're hot!

I think I'll just do my own cooking, thanks ...

The competition must have been intense ...

Which one is the day? ...

If this ... rings ... true, perhaps you should try another jeweler ...

Ya think? ...

I'm shocked! SHOCKED, I tell you!! ...

When I was a unit commander, I had some odd situations to deal with, but this was not one of them ...

Either take down the "No Pedestrians" sign or change the street name to "Don't Walker" ...

Why do I not find this surprising? ...

I always found that to be true ...

Have a good day and be sure to come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday - more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Johnny Carson on Democracy (Repeat)

While going through old blog files, I found this post that I first published in October of 2013. I'm reposting it today (with a few very minor edits) because it's as timely now as it ever was ...

One of the shrill comments that has been echoing down the corridors of argument during the present manufactured government crisis is that we don't live in a democracy, but in a constitutional republic. While this is undoubtedly true, it's pointless for purposes of extracting us from the swamp in which our elected reprehensives have mired us. But it does give me a hook to find a little humor in the current tsunami of embarrassing government ineptitude.

I dug back into my humor files and found the transcript of a monologue on democracy delivered by the late, great Johnny Carson back in 1991.

I looked for a video of it on YouTube, but couldn't find anything other than the scrolling text with accompanying music ... I'd give a lot to see Carson actually delivering this again, because no one has ever been able to match his delivery ...

"What Democracy Means to Me"

by Johnny Carson

"To me, democracy means placing trust in the little guy, giving the  fruits of nationhood to those who built the nation. Democracy means  anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can  be vice president.

"Democracy is people of all races, colors, and creeds united by a single dream: to get rich and move to the suburbs away from people of all races, colors, and creeds. Democracy is having time set aside to worship - 18 years if you're Jim Bakker.

"Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead. And, unlike communism, democracy does not mean having just one ineffective political party; it means having two ineffective political parties.

"Democracy means freedom of sexual choice between any two consenting adults; Utopia means freedom of choice between three or more consenting adults. But I digress.

"Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto -- usually a mop or a leaf blower. It means that with proper timing and scrupulous bookkeeping, anyone can die owing the government a huge amount of money.

"Democracy means a thriving heartland with rolling fields of Alfalfa, Buckwheat, Spanky, and Wheezer*. Democracy means our elected officials bow to the will of the people, but more often they bow to the big butts of campaign contributors.

"Yes, democracy means fighting every day for what you deserve, and fighting even harder to keep other weaker people from getting what they deserve. Democracy means never having the Secret Police show up at your door. Of course, it also means never having the cable guy show up at your door, either. It's a tradeoff. Democracy means free television**, not good television, but free.

"Democracy is being able to pick up the phone and, within a minute, be talking to anyone in the country, and, within two minutes, be interrupted by call waiting.

"Democracy means no taxation without representation, and god knows, we've just about had the hell represented out of us. It means the freedom to bear arms so you can blow the "o" out of any rural stop sign you want.

"And finally, democracy is the eagle on the back of a dollar bill, with 13 arrows in one claw, 13 leaves on a branch, 13 tail feathers, and 13 stars over its head - this signifies that when the white man came to this country, it was bad luck for the Indians, bad luck for the trees, bad luck for the wildlife, and lights out for the American eagle.

"I thank you."

I miss Johnny Carson.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* The reference is to the characters on the old "Our Gang/The Little Rascals" film series. I'm dating myself by knowing that.

** This hasn't aged very well, judging from the size of my cable TV bill.

Musical Sunday

I'm in the mood for a rockin' good tune today. I think I've used this one here before, but it's one of my favorites and it's my blog, so let's ride on the Wall of Death with Nancy Griffith one more time ... 

I really, really miss Nanci Griffith, who passed away in 2021 at the age of 68. 

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Welcome to May ... I'm hoping it'll be better than April, but I'm not holding my breath. 

In an interview with a Milwaukee newspaper this week, Der Furor said he would accept the results of the November presidential election only "if everything's honest," but failed to provide his definition of an "honest" result*; in Israel, government officials are concerned that the International Criminal Court may seek arrest warrants for their military and political leaders, including Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, on suspicion of war crimes in Gaza; in his first remarks about the demonstrations roiling college campuses over the war in Gaza, President Biden said he supports the right to protest while denouncing hate speech and emphasizing the rule of law; a Georgia man who bragged that he “fed” a police officer to a mob of rioters storming the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, has been sentenced to nearly five years in prison; and Meigs County, Tennessee, Director of Emergency Services, criticized at a recent meeting over the slow response of emergency response teams to calls for help, told a country resident, "Ma'am we're all gonna die. My suggestion to you is to get your heart right with God." 

This week, Cartoon Saturday takes a look at two types of cartoons about everyone's favorite fowl: specifically, why the chicken crossed the road, and whether the chicken or the egg came first. 

The consequences of not being careful while crossing the road can be severe ...

Good advice, if a bit late ...

Poor Dave ...

Now, this is a bit different take on the "crossing to the other side" theme ...

At least it should be a fairly cheap trip ...

The earliest known chicken? ...

I doubt the counsellor is going to resolve this one ...

I wonder if this was one of the parts left out of Genesis ...

Legalese is everywhere ...

Yes, that would settle it ...

Have a good day and a great weekend ... don't chicken out on the chance to enjoy yourself. See you back here tomorrow for Musical Sunday - more thoughts then.

Bilbo 

* Hint: it's honest if he wins.

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for May, 2024

A new month has arrived (already?), and with it comes the naming the first of three Ass Clown awardees for May ... yes, the structure of the calendar this year means that May has not two, but three Fridays available to heap dishonor and opprobrium on deserving Ass Clowns. Let's get to it, shall we?

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, with the usual flatulent blare of trumpets we announce

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for May, 2024

and the award goes to

The Conservative Wing of the Supreme Court

(Justices Roberts, Thomas, Alito,

Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, and Barrett) 

The public approval rating of the Supreme Court has been declining for years, but it is dropping sharply of late, largely because of the sharp turn to the right since it became dominated by hard-core conservative justices.

With the addition of three* extremely conservative justices to the Supreme Court during Der Furor's presidency, the Court now has a six-justice conservative supermajority that has distinguished itself by rolling back voting rights, undoing decades of reproductive choice for women (the first time the Court has actually removed, rather than asserted a fundamental freedom), and clutching its collective pearls over whether or not Der Furor represents a clear and present danger to the presidency and our democratic form of government.

The Court has also needlessly wrapped itself in controversy by refusing to adopt a code of ethics - even refusing to accept the same code of conduct that applies to every Federal court judge. Their argument is that the Court's special status as the nation's highest forum of legal decision requires it to be above ethical or behavioral limitations. This lack of a code of conduct has allowed - among other things - such travesties as the blatant acceptance of lavish vacations and other gifts from wealthy benefactors by Justice Clarence Thomas. It has also allowed Justice Thomas to refuse to recuse himself from the ongoing cases regarding the insurrection of January 6th, 2021 - in which his wife was deeply involved. 

Justice Alito has referred to previous decisions with which he disagrees with scorn, trashing the concept of stare decisis (settled law) as he works to overturn decisions (such as Roe v. Wade) he didn't like.

And it is worth noting that the three justices appointed by Der Furor (as well as Justice Alito, appointed by George W. Bush) all blatantly lied during their confirmation hearings, piously agreeing that Roe v. Wade was "settled law" before announcing it was "wrongly decided" and overturning it once they reached the bench.    

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the tinfoil and toilet paper crown designating our first Ass Clown Award for the month - the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for May, 2024 - is presented to the Conservative Majority of the Supreme Court - a majority interested not in justice, but in the imposition of an ultraconservative and deeply partisan stamp on American law.

Have a good day, as long as it remains legal to do so. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* In case you'd forgotten, one of those three seats - that of Justice Gorsuch - was stolen from President Obama and another - that of Justice Barrett - was stolen from President-elect Biden by the smugly shameless chicanery of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. And who would ever have thought that a judicially inexperienced nonentity like Brett Kavanaugh would deserve a seat on the nation's highest court? Just a reminder.

Poetry Sunday

Nowadays, being a "boomer" is often viewed as something shameful, as if our generation is responsible for all the ills of the world. Granted, we had quite a bit to do with them, but I don't think we were all bad. If nothing else, we had some of the greatest popular music ever - that's how cool we are. And speaking of the boomer generation's popular music, here's an anonymously-written poem that turned up on Facebook, composed entirely of bits of music from the 50's to the 70's. Enjoy!

Reflections of a Boomer

by "Uncle Joe"

I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain.

I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name.

I’ve gone to Kansas City, I sang in the sunshine.

I’ve been on the road again, with Georgia on my mind.

Like a rolling stone, I’ve given peace a chance.

I’ve put a camel to bed and danced the last dance.

Mr. Tambourine man played a song for me,

I’ve whispered words of wisdom, let it be.

I’ve fallen into a burning ring of fire and walked the line,

To all the girls I’ve loved before, you were always on my mind.

I’ve been everywhere, I’ve been so lonesome I could cry,

I’ve driven my Chevy to the levee when the levee was dry.

I’ve been to Itchycoo Park in a yellow submarine.

I’ve made the scene in a time machine.

I’ve done the Hokey Pokey and turned myself around.

I’ve welcomed baby back to the poor side of town.

I’ve followed the tracks of my tears down a long and winding road.

I’ve kept on searching for a heart of gold.

I’ve sought shelter from the storm, I’ve sat on the dock of the bay.

I’ve rocked around the clock, on a sunshiny day.

I’ve knocked on Heaven’s door, while blowing in the wind.

Joy to the world, those were the days my friend.

Lay lady lay, in crimson and clover.

It’s been a hard day’s night, the party’s over.

If you need me, I'll be here, counting flowers on the wall.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo